Superinjunctions for ‘Superman’
Unless you wear a cape and can do remarkable, wonderful things (I’m talking about the old ‘Superman’ tag for anyone considered invincible) then I’m sorry to say that your missus will discover, through the power of the media, that you have had sexual intercourse with a woman twice your age who took you for a fool as you drank champagne. You told your wife you were ‘away on business’ when, in fact, you were making love to this older lady with no care in the world for your kids, career and friends.
However, let me change direction – if you’re a footballer, politician, businessman – basically, somebody who has a fair bit of dosh lying around – then you need not worry. You pay the judge, he imposes an injunction to curb the media from revealing who you had an affair with, and if you’re feeling extra guilty then an extra £250,000 can buy you not one injunction, but a meaty SUPERINJUNCTION.
What a fantastic term, is this in the Oxford Dictionary of English? No, but here goes: having been seduced by another woman as you failed to keep it in your pants, you make love in a swanky hotel, and then the next morning you panic. In a flurry of desperation, finally discovering she has hopped into bed with the next generous so-and-so, you phone up your lawyer and request a super-injunction; not one of those bog standard injunctions, as you have the money to ensure the media never even discover who you are. Job done, then it’s back to playing happy families.
More to the point, it’s a worrying thing for the sake of free press and press integrity if the wealthy are able to effectively bribe judges so that they remain in the shadows and out of the limelight. It not only poses a risk to the ethical nature on which we put our trust in the hands of the law, but it means this could become a recurring theme where the powerful get it out their pants, regret it and pay some even more powerful judge to keep hush.
I’m surprised that these so-called Wags aren’t a tad bit apprehensive. Surely they must read the press and think to themselves ‘what if’? What if my footballer husband shafted a prostitute on his weekend trip away, what if he obtained a super-injunction, and he’s hiding something?
I only urge, for the sake of the press and the credibility and integrity of our justice system, that these injunctions aren’t guaranteed and are applied on a case-by-case basis, regardless of the sum. If you can’t keep it in your pants, then expect to be named and shamed. If you know you can get away with a super-injunction, then live in guilt and do the honest thing… if not for press integrity, then for your family.